Tainted Love – How to avoid internet villains

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Tainted Love - Internet Villains

I am the first to admit that I am a bonafide internet mega fan. I think it is the most wonderful tool for education, spreading of information and general entertainment.

I also love chocolate. I think chocolate is the most wonderful food in the world, but unfortunately it it has a huge drawback which is that it isn’t exactly a healthy option – it is loaded with sugar, and much like my friend chocolate, the internet also has some bad ingredients.
These are things I like to call ‘The villains of Web’ and I’m going to run you through a few:

1. The Captcha!! Not so much to do with catching a villain, but more to do with robots, these wonderful add ons often require you to prove you are human by copying indecipherable text (personally I think only a machine is capable of reading these half the time, but opposable thumbs triumph in these situations). My biggest problem with them is that after taking the time to fill in an online form you then risk losing it all if you can’t read spider scrawl behind mist… Captchas are unfortunately a necessity which protect websites from a multitude of cyber attacks, it wouldn’t hurt if they could be a bit more fun though, would it? On that note, have you checked out ours yet…?

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2. Pop up adverts. Especially the ones that open in a new window!! Just. No. Need. They ruin your viewing pleasure, can be noisy (humiliating while in a public place) and totally unrelated to what you’re browsing. While there are no current plans to ban them, our friend Google has recently announced that it will be punishing offending sites by lowering their scores and pushing them down the Google result ranking. What could they possibly have to gain from this? Well they want to discourage the use of ad blocking technology so they still have the control over advertising in mobile web. So there you go. The changes come into effect from 10th January 2017. Happy new year!

3. Non-responsiveness! You know when you log into your new favourite website on your phone and instead of a beautiful scaled down version of the full sized site, you still have the full sized site and have to adjust the sizing yourself. DONT. EVEN. GET. ME. STARTED. It’s insanely simple to make your website responsive. This is the web equivalent of boiling the kettle and pouring the whole lot into one giant cup for all to share, instead of individual drinks for all.

4. Slow websites. You know the ones that are so slow they would lose a race with a snail? Much like the above, sites that are slow typically have adopted the one size fits all initiative rather than using some of the many tricks of the trade to keep things moving at a decent pace. Is there anything worse than waiting and waiting for something to load while we are no longer living in a dial up age? Well there is actually – see the next point…

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5. Internet Explorer! I don’t even know where to start with this one. Even Microsoft have disowned it. Call me old fashioned, but I think it speaks volumes when a creator rejects its own invention. It has been known to make grown men weep and ought to be ashamed of itself. And finally…

6. Comic Sans! Because no list of villains is complete without giving this contemptible font a mention!

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